This is REWIND THE WEEK – your one-stop go-to much-wow guide for what’s hot, what’s not, and what’s even going on this week, every week, until the end of the universe. Which could be tomorrow, so don’t be the guy who missed out.
Proving that crimes pays, maybe, but not how you think, Florida resident Jhonny Perez was busted by a New York federal court for developing and selling the “Elusive” cheat mod for GTA V, and ordered to pay $150,000 plus $66,868 in legal costs to Rockstar parent company Take-Two Interactive for copyright infringement, lol.
Besides, you don’t even need cheats because science has established that ordinary humans are capable of superhuman things. Like these Beat Saber players who can move faster than the maths expected, and have now presumably been relocated to a secret bunker for additional study. NOBODY MESSES WITH THE MATHS.
Except South African film director Neill Blomkamp, perhaps, who made a three-minute Anthem promo that doesn’t feature Sharlto Copley and is this some alternate, non-recursive timeline or what is even going on anymore.
Restoring some balance to the universe, however, the Mars One mission to send people on a one-way trip to the dust planet, establish a permanent human colony by 2025, and turn it into a reality TV show has been cancelled, with the company declaring bankruptcy. Mars One: 0, The Maths: 1.
And commemorating a “record year” for revenue in 2018, Activision-Blizzard has laid off about 800 employees. Bobby Kotick: 0, The Maths: ???, Bungie’s girlfriends: OMG BABE YOU GOT OUT IN TIME. In the meantime, those guys at Infinity Ward who still have jobs will try to soothe their publisher-dreadlord’s erratic temper with a campaign in the next Call of Duty game.
A PNG image could compromise your Android phone’s security, and DJ Joel “Deadmau5” Zimmerman’s homophobic insults on Twitch compromised his channel until he apologised (sort of), but the Internet Broflake Defence Force doesn’t compromise with beta cucks and now everybody is offended but you know what? Opportunity the Mars rover won’t even have to deal with this shit, because it’s dead. Unlike the Mass Effect franchise, which isn’t dead. And the marketing team at Disney probably wishes it were dead, because this trailer for the live-action Aladdin movie was a mistake.
But a Tetris battle royale game is even worse.