How do you stop filthy pirates from spoiling the ending of a game fans have been waiting for since 2005? You exclude it from the disc, that’s how.
Kingdom Hearts III is out today, after an initial release on the 25th to Japan and a host of other Asian countries, and Square Enix wants you all to just be cool and stop spoiling everything for everyone. Over a month before its release, videos and spoileriffic plot points for Kingdom Hearts III started circulating on the interwebs. The fan base was outraged, identifying a North Carolina Walmart employee as the most likely suspect. They’re pretty vicious for fans of a game that lets you fight alongside Goofy and the rest of the Disney menagerie.
However, thanks to the developers’ keen understanding of human nature, one thing remained safe from the sweaty clutches of evil: the ending. You see, they knew we couldn’t be trusted with nice things, so the ending was kept off the disc. Instead, it was added as a day-one patch.
An important message for #KingdomHearts III from Director Tetsuya Nomura: pic.twitter.com/j9aVRFTS5B
— KINGDOM HEARTS (@KINGDOMHEARTS) December 16, 2018
The patch, which includes the epilogue and a secret movie, is small in comparison to the size of the game. It’s 1.8GB on the Xbox One, so it’s unlikely to cause any grief after already chugging through 40GB. And remember, Mr Nomura wants you to be kiff, not kak.
Kingdom Hearts III is currently available on Xbox One and PS4.